It’s hard to say “Good Bye”

25th September, 2015

The day was here. I woke up in the morning thinking that today was probably, the last day I would be seeing Snoopy sitting on our couch waiting for the morning cuddle, taking him out for his stroll, grooming him and serving him food and feel elated as he would run to sniffs his bowls clean.

As days went by, Snoopy continued to be adorable. Each passing day he made his own special place in our hearts. I kept wondering of how days would be without seeing him around in our apartment but somewhere I knew that being an inherent to the human race and its traits, I would somewhere loose the intensity of my pain gradually and only have speechless memories of the times that have spent together.

What bothered me most was when I tried to understand how Snoopy would feel once he would be taken away. In all these eleven days, little did he know, how much we had been planning behind his back? Along with his welfare agendas we did etch plans as to why and when he needs to move to a ‘home forever’. I knew for sure, that had we stayed longer together, parting would be tougher and more so ever, even more traumatic for the innocent soul who had just started believing this as his home. All he knew about was his strolls, his food, the playtime and an unlimited supply of love, affection and attention. Once these criteria were fulfilled he knew he could sleep safe and peacefully. But there was yet more coming to him than he anticipated.

Like usual days, I served him his evening snacks and he seemed more than excited to go out for his stroll this evening having noticed that even Som would accompany us. It was a strange feeling for me. Doing the kind of last things for him and taking a couple of the last of our snaps together, didn’t turn out to be a very merry moment to me or rather us. It was like I was letting a member of my family go, willing and unwillingly both.

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In the next 20- 30 minutes, we were anticipating Meenakshi’s arrival, a crisp chit-chat about his routine and then they would disperse taking Snoopy along with them. Som and I, both knew that the entire episode wouldn’t be as easy and as anticipated. I sat beside Snoopy, cuddling him, till the end of my satisfaction and prayed within, that he doesn’t hate me for what I was about to do to him. I knew he would feel betrayal, once again, but I hoped it would be for just this last time. All I wished was him to be taken care of the way I had been doing or even better, for the next 7-8 years that he technically had to his lifespan. I carefully packed all his dog food, medicines and grooming kit, without being noticed and yet was caught red handed by him.

It was around 7.30 in the evening when Meenakshi’s sister and her brother-in-law came in. In seconds Snoopy merrily greeted them knowing they were his rescuers and in another couple of seconds it seemed that, he just knew by our gestures, that they had come to take him away. He sat next to my feet unwilling to leave with an expression I could rarely forget. I lured him with kind words and snacks but he refused to give in to any of it and dismissed the idea of moving even an inch. I literally got him into motion trying the last luring trick to go out for a stroll and the innocent heart didn’t doubt me once. He seemed to dread their red car that once dropped him at my place and disliking the idea of hopping in it by choice, I had to lift him like a baby and let him go. It was harsh and I promised I would never say him ‘Good Bye’.

The door shut and the engine ignited and Snoopy was taken to his new home while my heart tore bearing the feeling of what I had just done. Disguised for distrust. That is exactly how I felt like. The corridors, my apartment, the couch and every corner came chasing like a monster and it wasn’t easy to digest the place without him and I could not help myself wondering if he would be fine again. Yes, surely I wasn’t doubting the people who took him but I was a failure to control my concerns for him, for I did see how sad he was the night, I walked him in our house.

It is weird that no matter how much we proclaim to be the on the pivot of all the living species, we fail to love, accept and forgive unconditionally. Whereas for other sentient beings like dogs or any other, whom we consider incapable of emotional capacity, they have simply been tuned not to discriminate anyone of us on the basis of conditions. It is immaterial to them, of where and how we live, what food we serve them or the minutest of the luxury we are able to provide to them. It is just enough for them to know that we love them, conditions or no conditions is an aspect they are rarely concerned about. As I dreaded that he would be hating me for what he might be thinking I did to him, I also somewhere knew that nature hadn’t introduce them to hatred towards those who loved them, even once. He shall undergo and luckily overcome the pain as a rule of nature in no time, as he did here when he found love. I wish how we could be even somewhat like them where we could treat everyone, every soul just like one of us, spared of judgements, expectations, hatred and see, how feeling unconditionally for someone would be like. I knew by the end of the entire event that it was not me alone who fostered an abandoned soul but I was fostered in return too for I had been introduced to a different dimension of love with no terms and conditions applied.

A new journey for Snoopy begins…

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