It was one of those sad and depressing nights when I lay on my hostel bed uncertain and lost, searching for one single bleak of hope. Unseen tears drenched my cotton pillow covers and tired of the suffocation, I slipped into my dreams for that night and days that followed thereafter, was never the same anymore.
A wind of white, eye-squinting light flooded from that broken modest window in my room. I was immobile, tired of wiping tears and building and re-building hopes from scratch and stared at the bright window, mesmerized and confused trying to figure out the puncture in that window. And then cutting through the blinding white light, I sense two huge white wings flapping and moving towards where I lay still and surrendered.
The huge white owl, majestic, bold and strong landed next to my head and whispered in my ear and made its journey back from the unknown, where it arrived from in the first place.
I slept solidly through the night and the next morning woke up confused and doped. I sat on the toilet and tried hard to recollect every bit of this dream and the whispered message that seemed more like an unexplainable premonition. Life for me, at that point, was looking for its ends to meet and a chance to know that it could have a ‘better tomorrow.’ Any positive vibe, any indication that I could live, was the last straw that could lift me from drowning in my own hopelessness.
I trusted my intuition, this feeling that the Owl might be my carrier for a good message wrapped up, in those huge magnificent white wings. All I needed to do was have faith, to give my spirit another chance to recoup and believe in the ultimate surrender to the universe and let the magic of “letting go” work for me. For this is the least and the most one can do when nothing seems to be in your control.
A month later, and after 13 hours of surgery, for the 4th time and hopefully the last one, I had survived! Beyond medical theories, beyond science and beyond faith, I was tasting life like a food deprived child, for this second time. And after 48 hours of supervision in the ICU, I was shifted to a room with huge windows that showed nothing more than the concrete hospital building walls.
And one night, as I laid tired and grateful, plugged into many machines, wrapped in many wires around me, I see a beautiful, magnificent bird flapping its huge white wings and even before I could identify, it glided down on my window and hooted.
All in tears, this time this was not a dream, but my living premonition, my omen, my faith and my White Owl, my spirit animal for real, right in front of me, in this starry night, a night of pure magic!
And ever since then, my white wings stuck by my side changing perceptions of life, one at a time. ♥
Feature Image unsplash-logo小胖 车