February Fever

It is the popular month of February and not because it has the unusual 28 days or the rare 29 days stretch but more because the branding industry has genuinely endorsed this month as diligently as I would want to bake a cake.

I mean, from the time I realized myself as a teen, the promotion of ‘February’ has really got my hopes high and let me ponder with nothing more than a  “why?” and at times a “when?”

The television channels from back then until now are nothing more than the color pink or red, flooded with tempting chocolates, roses, shining diamonds, sales and offers and snugly bears and overly happy couples. It is not that I do not admit couples can be really that happy, but the temptations they create are so hard to resist, I tell you.

Almost every store, even the grocery or the pet stores have red hearts floating around and tons of chocolate boxes and huge bears dumped right at the entrance and you feel like jumping right into them just like a kitten would react to pile yarn balls. But hold on, “I am definitely a mature 30+ women (not that numbers really matter) and why on Earth am I still wanting to behave like a desirous teen girl? What is wrong with me?” Well,hell no, “I am very much human and all this around me is sparking that old teen fire and not letting me be me.”

And to top it all, even friends till date often end up asking about special plans for the Valentine’s day and I bland and maturely address them back by sweetly saying, “Nothing much, we may just go for a nice dinner.” Oh trust me, in this rat race if I am served hot dinner even at home, having nothing to do, I will treat multiple days as the special February day. No roses, no diamonds, no chocolates just a princess treatment should well suffice. 😉

And, in all this hype and celebration and tempting distractions to spend the wallet, it is my spouse who is my closest soft target (but of-course). I simply love to trouble him (in the good ways) from time to time to keep the spark sparkling. 😀vulpes_vulpes_face

So, this afternoon I reminded him about the first and the last rose he gave me when we first started dating 4 years ago emphasizing the fact that it not the materialistic things that matter however they can seem to make some more sense on particular days.

Me: “You know what? I guess it would be a great idea to relive it again”

He: “Sure, do you want to go to the nursery and shop some plants?”

Me: “Really ? That many?”

He: “Sure, why not? You would not have one but lots of flowers all round the year.”

Me:” Wow, that was my husband talking!”

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Me Again: ” How about we go to the shelter and adopt some dogs for our family? We love dogs don’t we 😀

He: “dogS?”

are-you-serious-wtf-meme-baby-face

Me: “Why not? Isn’t that an effective gift, a family member who we can have for life.?”

He: ” When is the time that you are not this creative? We should talk at leisure then.”

Well, this is pretty much how my teen valentine fever has modified and nurtured over the years and now I living with my  partner who is certainly my best buddy and stress buster but also technically incapable to think hypothetically which is why I have to work hard to constantly being creative and pretty much show him the mirror. super-grin

But on a serious note, I feel that besides the glitz, glamour, craze and a blow to the wallet that the social media or the marketing industry has brought upon us for the first 15 days of this month, it is indeed nice to celebrate the little things and reflect on the cherished moments that our loved ones bring into our lives not just on one day but for days and years together.

It is eventually not that things we buy or give on a said date, but the smallest gestures that last for even more than a lifetime even though the cuddly-snugly bears on the store  counters stare right back into your eyes and insistently tell you ~ “C’mon ask me out of here. ” 🙂 ♥

Pic Courtesy:
Featured image By: Laura Ockel & google images

I am not a Dog!

The Tale of the Coyote

I maybe unaware of many of my potentials, but my constant attraction and amusement towards the animal kingdom doesn’t surprise me much after all these years.

I have been a pretty ‘famous‘ kid in my family, for this fond behavior of mine, especially coming from a time when animals were just not taken seriously enough.

I have been ‘almost’ kicked by a happy grazing horse because my innocent instincts as a child did not warn me before I was attracted to grab the lusciously swaying mane of the careless creature. Had it not been for my pretty fluffy frock, I would have ended up having some cracked ribs and howling parents.

However, time evolved and I continued my adventurous childhood. I had several pet episodes from rescuing a hen and adoring her as my best friend, celebrating birthday parties for my love birds, going crazy over my bunnies and being obsessed about my roaming baby parrot who I would sincerely put to bed every single night until her instincts asked her to fly away. All this and more of such incidents in details, have ever since then been a popular storytelling about me by my elders gathering much praise and ridicule at the same time.  I will admit, that I never took  the ridicule very seriously apart from now laughing inside out of the insane little things my heart has made me do.

It was not long since the epic stories of my childhood animal-love craze had faded and this time it obviously had to be my better half, who has been having to deal with me and the varied dimensions of my personality. :D. And I must proudly admit that I have added so much variety to his usual mundane living. 😉

From feeding stray dogs and having a fan club of dogs following me in my house street, in India that I  have ever heavenly adored, to finding peace within myself by working at the shelter and fostering dogs whom I could help in my own small ways ways, are the small things that make me feel good about being me. But something such as this particular incident had pretty much manage me to amuse myself and needless to say, jolt my husband. 😀

It was that evening when I was running late on my usual schedule and was unforgivably late to take my foster dog, Rex for his evening walks. While I had literally tired myself out in the efforts of exhausting my dog, who actually showed no such similar signs but of more enthusiasm, I spotted a slender sharp eared dog in the distant with no leash, collar, or any human around. At first I expected his or her parent to be around and started talking to my dog in gibberish how well the other fellow was without leash and hoped Rex would understand the rest of my expectation from my intention. You know, when they say that animals can read your mind and energy ~ it was clearly an effort in that direction.

In the next 5 seconds, I had 10 thoughts that ran in my mind. I was all geared  and enthused to help this young abandoned funny looking stray dog. I did wonder his breed, because he looked much like the strays back home in India but nothing like I would expect to come across in the US owing to my limited knowledge, to the dog breeding industry.

I approached the seemingly scared fellow with some treats that I had with me. I usually keep them handy to teach my dog leash walking manners and here it seemed that they could be useful even otherwise. Anyways, I moved closer carefully not to scare the dog away, trying to call him closer extending my hands with the treats but it was of no help. The fellow seemed even more scared and ran into the neighboring bushes. Surprisingly my companion mutt did not even make a hush and it seemed pretty weird to me.

 

I did think of giving a call to my spouse who was busy practicing his strings and urge him to help take this guy to the local shelter, but had I just not hurried out of my house and remembered to carry my cell phone along, I would have done that too.

With helpful thoughts hovering on my mind, I changed my route and while we were strolling our way back to our apartment, a friendly jogger passed by me, notifying that there was a young coyote out there in the bushes and it would not be really safe. “Ahh. Now I know why he wasn’t sure about the treats and why my mutt had made no sign of agreement. How the hell am I still so stupid?” And headed straight back home.

With a proud voice I alarmed my husband, that I was back home and like my stereotypical ways, I called him loud as I began to remove my shoes.

” You know what?”
“No,what? “, his usual reply.
” I was luring a coyote to come home with me.”

Pin Drop Silence

“What? Really What?”

And I burst out laughing right there. ” I thought it was an abandoned dog and I could be of some help. I have never seen a coyote in real and besides that, don’t you think it was exciting?”  “I must advice you that besides your good intention, you really should not be thinking so much. It clearly isn’t anything that I would call exciting. I am grateful that you are lucky and safe and I am not chasing a 911 at the moment” and he helplessly returned to strumming his guitar.

“Please don’t go to walk Rex , so late in the evening. I really cannot afford to foster coyotes in the house” was the last bit of murmur that came out of him after a while and I was still wondering and secretly laughing inside, thinking of what I was just about to do. It was almost like the narrow escape from being kicked by that horse, back in those days.:D

But nevertheless, my stories shall continue, hopefully sensible ones…

Alas! Marriage can truly have so much to endure. 😀 ♥

Original pic: was inspired from here. 🙂

I wish I could ‘Re-Feel’

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Pic Courtesy : indiacurrents.com

Today I was just wondering as I was sitting by myself, as to how incompetent we are to feel,exactly the way we felt on some of the most precious moments of our life, or say re-feel those moments of euphoria.

Like for example, the day I topped in school or successfully graduated with my degree in design, I remember that I was extremely happy. Happy for myself and extremely overjoyed to see the pride that my parents were experiencing then. But why can’t I re-feel those exact feelings today. Such ‘first time’ or only ‘one-time’ events are special to all of us, then why is it so that we can feel them only once and for the rest, all that we are capable of doing in the future is to smile about it, or feel touched and shed a couple of tears and remind ourselves about how life moves on and in some cases even refuel us with motivation to continue doing better in our upcoming life events.

Why is it that after we grow up and move ahead in life, things relating to our childhood memories, be it the innumerable acts of a parent’s love and kindness, the touch of our granny’s soft hands, the little joys that we had been experiencing,now ages ago, seem to bring tears of nostalgia and a realization that we have traveled so far  with love and also from love.

The elation of a first kiss, that seventh heaven feeling of knowing that yes,” this is my soul mate” can never be felt again in exactly the same way how we felt it the very first time. The excitement and the looking forwardness to a happy marriage ceremony, like the ones we have been reading all through the school days in colorful fairy tales, all fade away so silently that we hardly come to know when it sneaked out under our nose. And once it does, we try remembering hard, to feel exactly how it did feel for the very first time and no matter what, that feeling of happiness or ecstasy never hits back again.

I have tried imagining a lot of such incidents, many a times recollecting every scene like a perfect memory but somehow I miss to re-feel those incidents like when they happened in real. All that I am left with is feeling comparatively merrier and a smile that runs across my face.

On the contrary, to incidents that were really upsetting or mournful, recollecting them has rarely been a great deal. Not only do I get connected to it faster but also affected rather re-affected much sooner than I can imagine. I can cry, at times with tears or at times even without them, but I can almost relive those moments. The put me low, reverse my morale down and leaves me incapable of  any productive outcome. But physical pains, like an injury, a deep cut or a bad wound that would have put me through a toll of a time are also not remembered any more, apart from the memory that the experience was very painful, just as mere acknowledgment so as to say.

So what is it actually, which is why we are not able or incapable to revisit and re-feel the happy memories and the first time experiences exactly the same way when they actually occurred? Physical pain feelings are forgotten apart from the token of acknowledgement that we are left behind with. Well that in a way it is a bliss or else we would have been in a state of partial or total trauma for sure. But what about the distress, doleful and grieving moments? Are we more connected to them than the happy ones? Do they occur more than the happy ones? Are we more susceptible to sorrow and discontent that we can so easily relate to them?

Or may be it is because we or our brain-zone were manufactured in a way that we always remain open to merriment and jubilation such that there would be a continuity of events, of fill and re-fill and no re-feel, allowing us to venture, explore and accept the other ‘first times’ but even here, just for once. That’s just like having only one cheat day in a regime of a strictly controlled diet.

Re-visiting emotional pains and traumas are easier than the happy ones to make us aware of where our weaknesses resides, to empathize another distressed soul, to spot the potholes so that we watch out where we are walking, to know who means to us more; the ones who brings smiles to us or the ones responsible for the tears and likewise how we ultimately choose to retain choose to contently let go.

After all, end of the day, when we hit our pillows or see the horizon for just that one last time all we would want is a heart of sunny memories instead of the tears of a morbid heart.