The calendar is on the 27th December 2016, today and I was in simply in no mood to work on my designs, rather just chose to sit in my cozy living room that is comparatively larger when I am alone in our apartment. And yes, I had one of my most adorable foster dog, Cupcake chilling out with her head on my lap and with all the happy hormones oozing out in both our systems, I couldn’t help drifting into time lapse.
Each year around this time, it is like customary when we say and hear people say, “how quickly has the year passed!” and much like a ritual its one of those prime topic time to discuss about new year resolutions, at pretty much all gatherings. I had one today this very afternoon during lunch with my husband, just that I did not have much to participate in it.
So, in return I asked him, “What are your new year resolutions?”
“Nothing much”, he said with a pretty decent list that followed thereafter. That is one of his modest ways of expressing his plans and me being pretty dumbfounded.
I really din’t want to think about any resolutions, but just be my better version each day and just take it as it comes. I do definitely want a career break and some cash inflow , be more focused, positive, a more matured version of being in my 30’s, read the books that I eventually hoard from the library and do more animal rescue stuffs. Phew! It seems I got at least something sorted by the year end.
In this whole year, rather starting from the middle of 2015, I have been riding on life’s horseback like an amateur, just grabbing tightly enough not to fall off.
I do not want to sound negative or depressive but it is my heart typing through my fingers today and I want it to flow out so that I have some new room for thoughts to be launched in the next three days. With sleepless nights for more than a year, a push that needed to kick me out of bed, my best friend who is my mother having a stroke and the eventful phase of the ‘no stable career’ mode has given me a run for peace of mind.
The transfer to a new country from India to ‘reset’ my life, friends distancing merely thinking that being in USA is rolling in a bed of velvety rose petals, waiting patiently and non patiently to hear for a job interview with not a single turn-up and then eventually wanting to have a company with a dog with no adoption procedure clearing through has been pretty much the sadder highlights. Instead, I ended up having 6 foster dogs with the 7th rescue dog who was comforting me with her head on my lap, all of whom I gave a piece of my heart and then wept like a mother who gives away her daughter in marriage, when these babies got adopted. I am sure I am going to pour out all the water my tear ducts can support when Cupcake/CC/Cici gets adopted too.
It is not that I am not happy for them. Of course I am. But like I said, I am the mother giving away her child and getting all emotionally unstable and a helpless husband comforting me with much planned ahead lunch or dinner date.
However, I am glad that I could in the least, foster rescue dogs and give some love and get greater in return from them in this year. And while I have had periodic doubts being a good human mother, I realized my confidence that I can be a much better ‘dog mom’. I turned Vegan this year and started off with my vegan food fascination through “My Vegan Diary” and stood up for this one very thing that I feel so strongly now, in spite of all the interview sessions that I had to answer at all food invites and even one rare positive nod made a lot of difference to me.
My swim in the uncertainties of the ‘2016’s survival’ has made in flow in the direction of many currents, focused and unfocused and made me rant my heart, mind and soul to my roommate~ my lucky husband. I will certainly thank my stars for choosing him as my partner but he definitely has the capacity for my outbursts and yet keep me and him, sane. ♥
With the last very few days remaining, I really hope that 2016 tries to bring no more adverse world changing events for any of us. We’ve really had enough. And to be a little self-centered, I would want to give 2017 a heads up, that I am really anticipating you to be little nicer to me and have some mercy, if not on me but on the man who bears the brunt of my crazy stars.
To all of my blogging friends who might read this post, please allow me to thank you from every corner of my author’s heart for appreciating my blogs and for the exciting count of followers of ‘mindeology’ because trust me, it does make a lot of difference when an unknown friend spares some time reading your heart and mind. 🙂
I am positive to bring in some new & happier events in the coming transitional days. Until then, stay safe, stay sane and sail on. 🙂